So I finally gave in and decided to read a Jodi Picoult book, to see what all this stupid fuss is about. I picked one at random off the shelf (OKAY, fine, I admit: I totally judged her books by their covers and picked the prettiest one) but anyway, I ended up with The Tenth Circle. I hadn't had a chance to read it over the summer, because of stupid bullshit homework, but I just started it today and I'm about 200 pages into it.

It's about a fourteen-year-old girl who gets raped by her ex-boyfriend and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've still got about 180 pages to go, but all of the characters are just so... irritating. Stop reading here, I guess, if you don't want spoilers. But seriously, the main girl is like "OMG, my life sucks and I hate myself and I don't even know who I am anymore, I feel so numb to the world, I might as well just kill myself." Call me insensitive, but my first reaction was: grow the fuck up. Her dad is also a pathetic, spineless excuse for a man, and Picoult only seems to justify his being such a pussy by saying he's attempting to cover up his dark, tumultuous past, when he used to be reckelss and violent. Okay, sure. Or he's just a little girl, who doesn't have big enough testicles to confront his cheating whore of a wife. Which is how we come upon Annoying Character #3, who's like "oh noez, my daughter has been raped! I should end my extramarital relationship with one of my STUDENTS [she's a college professor] and go pretend I care about my family!!!"

Last but not least, I must express my IMMENSE hatred (I seriously mean IMMENSE) of authors naming every other character something unreasonably strange. John Green named one of his characters Alaska (from his amazing bookk, Looking for Alaska) but he thoroughly explained why she had a strange name. It was ONE character. Jodi Picoult, however, apparently went drunk driving with her creative license, because a nauseatingly large amount of characters just have ridiculous fucking names, and it's completely unwarranted and unnecessary. It pisses me off, because it's not realistic!

Examples: The main girl's best friend, Zephyr Santorelli-Weinstein. I fucking kid you not. Also, one of the doctors who tests the girl for date rape drugs, Venice Prudhomme! (Try to guess if Venice is a boy or a girl. I guessed boy. I was wrong. Who could have known??) Then there's the ex-boyfriend's attorney, Dutch Oosterhaus. Or how about his best friend, Moss Minton? MOSS. MOSS!!!!

I rest my case.

LIBBY: Awww, Seth! I miss playing that boy.
BLAKE: You miss him?! WHY? YOU DIDN'T DROP HIM, DID YOU???
LIBBY: NOOO, OMG NO. I would rather die than drop him!
BLAKE: I would rather you die than drop him too!!!
LIBBY: ......

I CLEARLY have the best friends ever.

SEASON FOUR OF PSYCH PREMIERED TONIGHT! It was, in true Psych fashion, absolutely hysterical. I still love Lassie more than anything in the world, except for maybe Gus. And I hope that the consistent hinting at Shawn/Jules sexual tension is foreshadowing of them FINALLY GETTING TO BANG THIS SEASON. I'm so fed up with them, like just do it already. You're too cute together to ever be with other people.

Also, I'm pretty sure the highlight of the entire episode came in the bloopers that they always show at the end. Shawn had a line that went "Gus, get your socks ready, because I'm about to blow them off." And I guess he got distracted because he started the line with "Gus, get your socks ready, because I'm about to ssss..." Then, realizing that he had obviously started on the wrong syllable and already fucked up the line, he did what James Roday (Shawn) does best, and he improvised. The blooper went like this:

Shawn: Gus, get your socks ready, because I'm about to ssssss...suck them off. I'm about to suck them right off your feet.
Gus: ...I'm uncomfortable.
EVERYONE ON SET: (cannot contain hysterical laughter)

I thought I was going to rupture several internal organs laughing. Because just seeing the mildly-nauseated look on Dule Hill (Gus's) face, before he responds, ah. Fucking priceless. I love those actors together, they're brilliant. ILY PSYCH.

It's been a while since I've last written! I know, shoot me. ALSO, spoilers below. If you haven't read/seen Watchmen and you intend to, then don't follow the cut, cause it'll ruin it! I do suggest you read the comic, though. The movie is brilliant, but read it first.

( WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN? )

I spent the night at my best friend Mallory's house the other night (Sunday), and my dad came to take me home around 11 yesterday morning. After we stopped for lunch at McDonalds (LOL I TOLD YOU READING FAST FOOD NATION WOULD NOT ALTER MY EATING HABITS AT ALL) we got back in the car and I was like THIS close to asking if I could drive home. Cause I'm eligible to take the road test in September and I want to be like, GOOD at driving by that time. But I figured eh, I'm tired, I'll just let my dad drive.

BEST. DECISION. EVER.

About three minutes down the street from McDonalds, someone rear-ended our car!!! I think it was the first "car accident" I've ever been in. And thank GOD I was not driving because I probably would have cried and then jumped ship LOL. Anyway, no one got hurt and he didn't hit us hard, so the back of our car (MY FUTURE CAR) just got scratched up a little, and borrowed some of his paint job hahahah.

The guy who hit us was actually really adorable and hilarious! We had to stand with him for like an hour until the cops showed up (my dad was actually really nice to him, it was kind of cute LOL) and he was like, a twenty-something kid who had just graduated from EKU and he had a serious Chuck Bartowski vibe to him. I'm not even joking, he had the dark, disheveled hair and the button-down shirt and the geeky communications company ID tag and the black slacks and the CHUCK TAYLORS and it was just awesome. I bonded with him, I cannot lie.

ME: Where in god's name are they sending the policeman from? TORONTO?
HIM: The mounties are coming to rescue us!
ME: "So I hear you got into an accident, EH?"
HIM: "What is this mess all aboot?!"

You KNOW he's a good guy when he hates on Canada with you. I never even found out his name! (tear)

So, I was reading a post that Jean (rhymeswithbean ) wrote about what she does during the summer to occupy her time, and it got me thinking about what I do during the summer to occupy my time. And I finally decided to write a sister post! (It should be noted that 'sister post' is a lame title for what can more accurately be described as 'shameless copying'. ILY JEAN.) Anyway, on with the list.

01. MOVIES! MOVIES! MOVIES!
02. CRASH & BURN.
03. READING. WRITING. REVISING.
04. JAKE AND AMIR.
05. GRAPHICS / CODING / PIC HUNTING.

( WOW I TALK TOO MUCH. )

I was talking to Courtney about PINTO, which is not surprising because I'm always talking about Pinto, but she told me she'd never seen the picture where someone photoshopped their faces together. So I had to send it to her, right. (If you want to see the picture, an easier way would just be to google image search Captain Spork LOL.) Anyway, I sent it to her. We squealed for like half a second over how insanely attracitve he is for not being a real person, and then. This happened.

I came back to our IM window, and Pinto's photoshopically-morphed face was the BACKGROUND of our fucking conversation. I swear, I touched NOTHING, I just came back to this. I was like 1 part amazed, 3 parts terrified, 1 part turned-on. But emphasis on those 3 parts terrified.

i32.tinypic.com/mbjs4g.jpg

Probably the highlight of the morning.

SO, as anyone who's friends with me will already know, I went to the midnight premiere of Half-Blood Prince last night (MORE ON THAT BELOW) and didn't get home til like THREE A.M. Then Jean got me caught up in a crazy conversation about how sick awesome it was and how excited she was to see it and how excited I was to see it again and how SICK FUCKING AWESOME IT WAS, DID I SAY THAT? And then after she literally caused me to throw up my excitement at four in the morning, (LOL it was unpleasant, I blame her completely) I finally got to bed around 4:30. Tired as shit, because I usually go to bed around 1 and I had just fucking VOMITED for no apparent reason other than Jean's lovely face (HEEEE, JK I LUH YOU x2039), but still. I made it to 4:30 nonetheless before I had to crash.

NOW, insert obnoxious knocking and doorbell ringing for like thirty straight seconds at noon, thereby rousting me awake RATHER UNCEREMONIOUSLY IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF, and stumbling toward the front door. I'm home alone, except for my dad, who is asleep in his room because he works the night shift at Panera, baking bread. LOL. [/end irrelevant factoid] but anyway, so I rip the door open, VERY IRRITATED, looking probably like a hot mess, and this the conversation that ensued:

Me: YES? CAN I HELP YOU?
Fugly Lady: Oh sorry, I just wanted to know if you were giving away that metal pole that you left on the curb.
Me: [pauses to collect self] UM. Yeah, that's why we left it at the curb. Take it.
FL: Okay, thank you! Sorry to disturb you.
Me: I'm sure. [SLAMS DOOR]

She was clearly NOT sorry to fucking disturb me, because she was knocking AND ringing the doorbell at the SAME TIME without pausing!!! I heard the doorbell ring at least ten times in a row, like DINGDINGDING ETC. after I became conscious. I should have been like "NO, GTFO MY PROPERTY LINE, BITCH." Incidentally, the metal pole was from our basketball hoop that we took down when we redid our driveway. I'm sure she was in desperate need of one, especially an old, rusty one. Fucking whore. I'M PISSED SLASH TIRED SLASH ANNOYED.

ANYWAY THOUGH OMG HARRY P. It was incredible, basically. Like better than any of the ones before it. I've always liked the movies -- but this was just way impressive. As far as shoving 600 pages of action and emotion into 2 hours and 33 minutes goes, they did a really spectacular job. Best line of the movie, I think people will agree, is anything that happened between Harry taking the Felix and then coming back LOL. He was just hilarious. "And pincers. Tsk tsk tsk (finger motions)." I almost peed myself.

I have like three new books I want to read that I've had to put on hold at the moment, because I decided to stop procrastinating on my summer assignments. Which really is a GOOD THING, because I have so much fucking work for my English class! I have to read Fast Food Nation (Schlosser), On Writing (King), The Watchmen (yeah, the comic book. LOL.) and another non-fiction novel of my choice. I also have to take notes on Watchmen, watch a documentary relating to the non-fiction novel (must be about a controversial topic), then write an essay on that controversial topic citing 3 more reputable sources for information, AND write an essay for Fast Food Nation!

BY AUGUST TWELFTH. I'm like fifty pages through FFN at the moment, and if you have never read it, then let me assure you: it is painfully dry. Like, I'm wearing my serious face right now as I'm saying this. It's sosososo dull, I don't even know how it's legal. He just drones on and on about who started McDonald's and KFC and Taco Bell, and how advertising is marketed at children, and Walt Disney (????) and I'm like GET TO THE POOOOOINT you're trying ot make! None of this superfluous background information is necessary!

Anyway, back to the salt mines. I'm going to try to shove through the first 110 pages or so before I go to bed tonight, in order to avoid being royally FUCKED come August. Good luck to me.

My mom and I had an impromptu visit to the grocery store at nine o'clock last night, during which I convinced her to buy a box of Twinkies for me. Can you believe I've never so much as held one of those suckers before? Anyway, I ate one as soon as we got home and NOW I UNDERSTAND the obsession. I mean, I'm not going batshit crazy over them every time we go to the store, but that shit was well worth the money.